Kaleidoscope 2009

A new year comes and the new year goes.. This year I celebrated the eve at Jakarta. And it was totally different with the eve party in Bali where I usually celebrated it. But what I would tell you was not about which party was the best or whatever,, just check it out.


When I was waiting for the countdown to 2010, I was having an unserious conversation about something with my bestie, Gita. We were at La Codefin, Kemang and the crowd was getting more and more crowded and our conversation kept going hotter and hotter.

“ well, seems like everything goes too fast and 2010 is coming now ,I just..hhmm.. there’s nothing left for me in this year, nothing special..” Gita said with her slow-mo style

Actually, I would like to argue her but I couldn’t because seemed like a re-wind push-button switched-ON my memories automatically and the process turned the other push-button off so that made me peace in a silence. Well,, I tried to understand anything which happened in my life this year.


Everyone has their own histories and If Gita had a monotone one but not me.. I had the various colors in 2009. Let me show you a little Kaleidoscope of my track in 2009:

• January 2009
There was nothing special in this early year ,, as usual I spent ma holiday in my hometown and everything was fine as always... it was the fine new beginning

• February 2009
The college was just begin and we were about to make a sweet escape to Bandung . Silly but unfortunately And we did it. Our trip was not fancy but crazy, too short but too hot and sure.. even just only 3 days we had a lot of fun. ,well I knew now,, where do we go was not really important but with whom.. together with them was such a priceless treasure for me.
We had a very good times there,, lets make the sequel this year besties!!

(wooopps,, we missed Tia en ichy in this Pic )




• March 2009
Since the class run, my heart moved faster because there was a fat hope that has made my life in trouble. I lost the appetite, I couldn’t focus on my lessons and I couldn’t even sleep for an hour just because of that only hope. Thanks God, the” Only Hope Drama” had a very happy ending and I didn’t wait in vain for that. The hope found the answer on Friday morning: Galih, Marcell, Eka, Yeni and me were the winners to spend the next summer break on July in Holland for free..oowh finally we won it. This present is one of prestigious scholarships for those who has been studying hard to be the big 5.


To hear those kind of announcement was beautiful moment indeed but you know what was the most beautiful one? The answer was when you heard your mom and dad cried based on his their happiness and proud of their kids,, Thanks God,, you gave me the chance to make them happy,, criminally happy


• April 2009
After I had the answer of my only hope, the other wishes came true simultaneously . I started my business with my ex sist-in law, and then I had many shows with my new music team, well I could said that from this month I did make a lot of money and you know what did it mean??,, my euro trip would be perfect 
By the end of this month,, Anind, Gita and me attended an annual event of the Queen’s day of the Netherland. It was special because it was our first time (Thanks for the iny Mv Eva:)



• May 2009
Everything happened for a reason and so did I, attended the queen’s day for one special reason,,the queen’s day gave me someone and he made me addicted to him,, ooh silly me and we had a great time before he left Indonesia (it was too short : )


• June 2009
Final exams did cost a lot of energy and this time and nothing more to say


• July 2009
July was like a fruit punch. This month consist of various essences :, illness, sadness and happiness . The beginning of the month was killing me softly because I was sick and that made me totally bed rest. Then in the middle of the month even though I was sad because my sweet sist Putri would live miles apart, I was also supper happy for her wedding. I should say,, this month ended beautifully because the departure of my summer break was on 19 jully 2009… won a scholar ship for summer course in Netherland was my best achievement this year,,




• August 2009
20 july-15 August my life filled with joy and love. . new experience, new friends, new spirit and surely.. I couldn’t ask for more. When I have arrived back again at Soekarno-Hatta, the happiness didn’t turn off yet. I got two cute lil b-day surprises from my besties .. and I’m so grateful coz I always feel younger when the ages getting older 


• September 2009
The college was complicated. Everything was changed: the rules, the style and the docents became absurd. Some said the new era was brilliant but for me it was not more than a disaster. But whatever it takes.. rules are still rules and show must go on 

This month,, we celebrated Raya at Bali with loves.. and quality time with a whole family never failed me.





• October 2009
Nothing special happened in this month..Until I got an Emergency Call from Bali which said that my papa was at Emergency Room


• November 2009
So sad but true and the hardest thing to do was to say bye, bye to our beloved Papa who took a rest in peace forever.. I never knew I could hurt like this and everyday life goes on like
"If only I could talk to you for awhile",” if only I didn’t leave you alone’ if only.. if only…”
and this moment made me crawling and walling on the ground and grown indeed




• December 2009
The end of this year was the top of my virtual insanity.. addicted in face book, Blogs, chatting rooms and someone came to fill the emptiness of my heart..( thanks sugar) and since this month too I’m supper ready to hit the years with my creativity which has been starting from now.. :D


So.. is there anyone disagree if said my life was full of colours this year?? I bet none of u..

(miss Online)

you become a habit,...

this is not my product but this is one that i love most and

i just wanna show you.. that i'm addicted to his chocolate high



I don't mean to be decadent
I might sound like a hedonist
But the simplest way I can put it
You become a habit

The more I consume, the more I gotta have it
Ain't no such thing as too much
If you gave me everything it'd never be enough yeah
My black coffee with sugar no cream in the morning
You're my super double caffeine dream yeah

Your precious darkness got me so
Strung out and lovin' the way that you
Got me so wide open, my baby doll
Jonesin' and fienin' under my skin
My nerves are screamin' when you're not here
See baby I need ya sugar
You're so delicious


There is somethin' about your love
That makes me just want to open up
Your flavor is the sweetest thing in life
I'm addicted to your chocolate high
Cause I want you, and I know that you want me
So let's stay close like we supposed to be
And just get high off our own supply
I'm addicted to your chocolate high


I be trippin' in so many ways if I
Go a single day without a taste of your love
The finest cuisine of today's world
Five stars, oh you're so gourmet girl
I crave you, I want you
Every cell in my body needs you
Tasty like hershey's and nestle
You're rich like godiva boy you just so sexy






Your flavor is
The sweetest thing in life
And I don't ever want to come down
I'm addicted to your chocolate high
Oh yeah


* India Arie & Musiqsoulchild

“ What makes you happy B??”,, asked B.

One of my besties asked me simply “ what makes Bunga happy?? Woow… seems like an easy question but immediately I did think twice..and Ooowwh,,, it’s hard to give the answer of this simple question.. because I should sink in through the bottom of my heart, listening the deepest reflection of my soul until I could figure it out, what does actually make me happy. It is not that easy, though..


I tried to open all the pages of daily privacy of mine and then back and forth the photo albums of mine, and then made some notes about what kind of agenda, activities and all of the things which already success to put a line of smile in my face. Honestly.. there were so many things that could make me happy

there were thousand or even millions thing that can made my day wonderful and playful. But whatever it is.. I should make a statement what can makes me happy

Well let me try to think and made the best statement by analyzing all of layers of mine. I begin with the first layer of my life, my family. I’m a girl and since I was just a little girl I already became a daddy’ s sweet heart. Moreover this daddy’s little angel is surrounded by three awesome brothers and one cute little sister who years younger than me.

I was the last in series of my siblings for a long time and all of the great attentions has always been going to me and it happens until my number of age turn into 23. It makes me feel like a lady, super lady who are always surrounded by the greatest loves of life. I’m happy, I’m crazy over my family and ain’t no such thing as too much If I said that their love is such an addictive love


(1st layer!!!)


Next is about the second layers of my life. Friendship, besties and whatever it said,, is purely, essential and naturally consist of the true love of friendship. Maybe I don’t have a lot of friends who made me difficult to find them in a thousand contacts list. But I ‘m really sure that they are in highest quality. They are such a gift from my beloved god who can always cheers me up. They always know how to bring back the rainbow to my heart after it hit by a heavy and thunder rain which hurt me . They also know how to put me back in the best point after I fell down and didn’t even know how to stand up in my own feet. So that’s why I always miss them when they’re not around me,, whenever, wherever I am..



(2nd layer)

Third layer consist of many kind of friends. Childhood friends, neigbours, high school fellas, colleagues, chatting friends, pals and whatever. There’s an old quote: some people come and go in our life, but not everybody would leave a footprint in our heart.

But according to me,, Even they’re real or unreal.. even they’re good or bad and even they’re exist or not anymore ,there’s always something that they can offer me. Maybe not just that time but after, they always left something and I like to call their invisible heritage as an irreplaceable memory. I do proud of them who are now around me or who used to stay in this kind of layer. Big thanks for all of you,,. Nearby, far away, burn in sadness or happiness, forever or just temporary , u made me always falling in love to make new friendship.



(3rd layer)

Last but not least is the last layer of my life,, but not least..Why?? because this kind of layer is very invisible.. Why does it appear invisible?? Because…when the” It Feeling “doesn’t exist for several reasons… this layer doesn’t also exist… But.. when It appears.. oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh… this layer has a super natural power which can make the other layers of your life perfect.. this layer called Love layers but the love it has, has chemical particles completely. One of the Greece Goddes, Aphrodite said that this kind of layer consist of Love in accordance with lust. So that is why.. this layer is great because it has a best combination. And I cant even explain for more and the only thin I know Is that I always happy and extremely and criminally happy when this invisible layer appear as visible to my life. To love and to be loved are the most beautiful feeling I ever knew,, and I always enjoy that kind of things..


(suppppperb layer)

So,,, after saw my little personal research inside my heart,, I finally can made a conclusion of all this confusion things.. I proudly say that I’m just an ordinary girl who always love to love and to be loved. So that;s why.. after all that I’ve been through in my life.. I never loath to apologize even if I didn’t made that mistakes..or I wouldn’t even doubt to change my attitude if it agitate anyone. I do not love frown but smile, I do not love war but peace, I do not love hate but loves.

So.. now.. you know right the key of my happiness is love..whoever, wherever, whenever, and whatever..just give me loves because I simply love loves.. ;)

( 8 dec 2009)

Sometimes God doesn't Give What we Want Yet , But What We Need,,

Honestly, I never talk about my condition if I feel sad or how hard it is to wake up from all of the broken hearts because I’ve been lied to by boyfriends. The problem is obviously not because I am afraid that you guys think how powerless I am. I just try to avoid my weird feelings. It would be very unpleasant to read it after my heart recovers. But now, I’m just trying to figure out my friend’s advice: “Even if it hurts, you will see how lucky you are that you have been there to feel that pain.”




There’s only one thing which made me feel so bad and always in a bad mood when I’m alone, wherever I am. Those kind of feelings suddenly attack and hurt me for a long time. It is just a very small problem I think. Nowadays I am always anxious because of my loneliness. I just miss the moment of falling in love with all of the incredible sensations which come every single day. However, it has been too long I haven’t had a touch of love.

I can say that my life is actually never without potential love. Despite the fact that there are always men who try to win my heart, I feel still the same: lonely. In some cases, I was in love with someone but there were always. Either he did not feel the same or maybe he was successful to make me fall in love but he did not catch me. In fact he left me alone and I was stuck in a dream of love.
“Oh my God, is this calling a curse??? “

Just one day before I finished my heart’s confession, one of my classmates told me about her fabulous trip to Eastern Europe. Why did I call her trip fabulous? Because she went there for a mission, a cultural mission. She is a dancer and there, she and some of dancers from my campus made a lot of cultural traditional dance performance. She has been there as a representative of my country and the other side of her official mission are she could get a lot of new experiences, she got many chances to attend international events and also had many friends from several countries. Didn’t it sound super fabulous, though? Well even she grumbled of her new body shape which was according to her that she gained seven kilos, the sparkle of her eyes could not even denied that she was happy,, criminally happy.

She said, “Of course it was fun, Bunga. Every day there was a party and every time was time to have fun.” Then I asked “So.. how bout Rylla (not her real name)?” Then she answered my curiosity with a long summary of her best friend, Rylla, who also went with her. She talked about the magnificent enchantments of Rylla which made many guys crazy over her. But unfortunately Rylla is not listed as a single lady. She already has a boyfriend and now he was waiting on her in Indonesia. And that was the only reason she did not attend the parties and some girls days out because her boy friend was kinda angry and worried about her unofficial agenda. Otherwise she would loose her boo if she went against his rule. CRAPP!!! How selfish of him!!!!

Suddenly, I remembered my trip to Europe the previous summer. Then I imagined: If only I was in a relationship when I was there (even though I knew that guy wouldn’t be the same as Rylla’s), MAYBE…. I could not dance till dusk with my new fellas and then MAYBE I was afraid to go on dates that were set up online (and they were all boys). Or MAYBE it would be impossible to discover Paris, Brussels or Amsterdam without a guy who stays beside me. And that was all only because I did not get permission from my boo.”
Alright, maybe I am not obedient like Rylla, but if you have been bewitched by love, who knows if the rebellious girl will become the same as Rylla?
And once again I memorized the old statement of my friend who now said:
“ Ngaaa… it is not a curse,, God just give you more time to have fun and enjoy it by yourself.“




“Oh my God, She’s absolutely right, huh??” I whispered thankfully ;D



XOXO

"Queen B"


P.S: Thanks a lot Bryan ;)